'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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