dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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