when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
