and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
