I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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