is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and she was petting her beer can
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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