so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
