thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
