He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
