Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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