I hate your face
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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