Sry I called you an 8
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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