she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
