week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
