You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
