she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
