we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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