You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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