Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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