It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
