i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have tasted many bathrooms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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