The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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