my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
