eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
