From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Rumble strips road head = magical
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
