how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
