the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
