Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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