a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
