Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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