This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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