another moral hangover. fuck.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Actions speak louder than pants.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
