yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
