waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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