Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
