worst night to have a conscience
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
