i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
