i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
