I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
