All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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