He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
