Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
