Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
