I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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