No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
