Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Come see our sink grown plant.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
