omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
