the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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