My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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