Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
