his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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