WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
