I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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