True but thats because hes a fetus.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
